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Author Topic: Funny One-Liners!  (Read 3453 times)

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Offline Snowdog993

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Funny One-Liners!
« on: Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:20:09 »
Okay.  This is a fun one.  I got this idea from a recent post.  Can you remember some of the funniest come-back one-liners and post them here?
I'll start with one that made me laugh pretty hard.
« Last Edit: Tue, 30 December 2014, 00:10:45 by Snowdog993 »
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Offline hwood34

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #1 on: Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:31:33 »
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Offline nubbinator

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #2 on: Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:32:09 »
I couldn't find one gif to sum up my reaction to that, so I'll post all of them.








While I was deciding which one was best, looks like hwood beat me to the punch...bastard.
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Offline hwood34

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #3 on: Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:32:57 »
Quote from: nubbinator on Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:32:09
I couldn't find one gif to sum up my reaction to that, so I'll post all of them.

Show Image


Show Image


Show Image



wait almost forgot a great one

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Old GBs: Gateron Switches (2015) | CF-LX R1 (2015) | CF-LX R2 (2017) | CF-LXXX (2017) | Gen.s Gem Caps (2015)

"Under no pretext should arms and ammunition be surrendered; any attempt to disarm the workers must be frustrated, by force if necessary"

Offline Snowdog993

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #4 on: Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:46:12 »
Now THAT is funny!
Nobody with a sense of humor.  Oh wait!
It must be that EVERYONE uses LOUD BS keyboards now!
« Last Edit: Tue, 30 December 2014, 00:17:43 by Snowdog993 »
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Offline sleepy916

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #5 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 00:36:10 »
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Offline tp4tissue

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #6 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 01:22:19 »
Quote from: sleepy916 on Tue, 30 December 2014, 00:36:10
Show Image


It's like the margarita is trying to honey-**** you.
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Offline iri

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #7 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 01:48:26 »
Quote from: hwood34 on Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:32:57
Show Image



region-specific humour, sry-sry.
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(...)Whereas back then I wrote about the tyranny of the majority, today I'd combine that with the tyranny of the minorities. These days, you have to be careful of both. They both want to control you. The first group, by making you do the same thing over and over again. The second group is indicated by the letters I get from the Vassar girls who want me to put more women's lib in The Martian Chronicles, or from blacks who want more black people in Dandelion Wine.
I say to both bunches, Whether you're a majority or minority, bug off! To hell with anybody who wants to tell me what to write. Their society breaks down into subsections of minorities who then, in effect, burn books by banning them. All this political correctness that's rampant on campuses is b.s.
-Ray Bradbury

Offline Findecanor

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #8 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 05:39:05 »
What?
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Offline iri

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #9 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 06:28:39 »
Quote from: Findecanor on Tue, 30 December 2014, 05:39:05
What?
if that's a question about my gif: it is a demonstration to the Danes why Sweden is clearly the best and the most advanced country in the world.
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(...)Whereas back then I wrote about the tyranny of the majority, today I'd combine that with the tyranny of the minorities. These days, you have to be careful of both. They both want to control you. The first group, by making you do the same thing over and over again. The second group is indicated by the letters I get from the Vassar girls who want me to put more women's lib in The Martian Chronicles, or from blacks who want more black people in Dandelion Wine.
I say to both bunches, Whether you're a majority or minority, bug off! To hell with anybody who wants to tell me what to write. Their society breaks down into subsections of minorities who then, in effect, burn books by banning them. All this political correctness that's rampant on campuses is b.s.
-Ray Bradbury

Offline Computer-Lab in Basement

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #10 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 08:19:11 »
no comment
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Quote from: Frenir on Mon, 23 March 2015, 15:16:48
Quote from: Computer-Lab in Basement on Mon, 23 March 2015, 15:14:18
tp thread is tp thread
Sometimes it's like he accidentally makes a thread instead of a google search.

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Offline nubbinator

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #11 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 09:06:55 »
Quote from: Snowdog993 on Mon, 29 December 2014, 23:46:12
Now THAT is funny!
Nobody with a sense of humor.  Oh wait!
It must be that EVERYONE uses LOUD BS keyboards now!

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Offline Snowdog993

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #12 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 16:08:56 »
 :-[
I really like my new friends I found on GeekHack!
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Offline IvanIvanovich

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #13 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 17:29:39 »
85887-0
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Offline swill

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #14 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 21:11:17 »
Your posts are not funny. Here is something funny. :)

A man walks into a zoo. It only had one animal in it and it was a dog. It was a ****zoo.
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Offline Lain1911

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #15 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 21:14:50 »
Two blondes walk into a building.  :blank:
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Offline swill

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #16 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 21:18:32 »
3 blonds were walking in the woods and they came to a set of tracks. One says, "these are moose tracks", the next said "no no, I have seen these before, these are bear tracks". The third one got hit by a train.
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Offline noisyturtle

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #17 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 21:21:03 »
Guys, guys, guys come on. Let's talk about who is actually the funniest person on GH.

My vote goes to this guy:
85900-0

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Offline swill

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #18 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 21:23:39 »
Quote from: noisyturtle on Tue, 30 December 2014, 21:21:03
Guys, guys, guys come on. Let's talk about who is actually the funniest person on GH.

My vote goes to this guy:
(Attachment Link)

How is that funny. Toot toot?
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Offline Snowdog993

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #19 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:18:17 »
Do you know how to keep GH members in suspense?
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Offline nubbinator

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #20 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:24:00 »
Quote from: Snowdog993 on Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:18:17
Do you know how to keep GH members in suspense?

Oh, I got this one.  The punchline is like your girlfriend, it never comes.
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Offline noisyturtle

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #21 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:24:51 »
Quote from: Snowdog993 on Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:18:17
Do you know how to keep GH members in suspense?

Tell them you will post an artisan keycap for sale once a day at a completely random time?
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Offline hwood34

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #22 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:27:09 »
Quote from: nubbinator on Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:24:00
Quote from: Snowdog993 on Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:18:17
Do you know how to keep GH members in suspense?

Oh, I got this one.  The punchline is like your girlfriend, it never comes.
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Old GBs: Gateron Switches (2015) | CF-LX R1 (2015) | CF-LX R2 (2017) | CF-LXXX (2017) | Gen.s Gem Caps (2015)

"Under no pretext should arms and ammunition be surrendered; any attempt to disarm the workers must be frustrated, by force if necessary"

Offline Evo_Spec

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #23 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:27:37 »
Quote from: noisyturtle on Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:24:51
Quote from: Snowdog993 on Tue, 30 December 2014, 22:18:17
Do you know how to keep GH members in suspense?

Tell them you will post an artisan keycap for sale once a day at a completely random time?
:))
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Offline Snowdog993

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #24 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 23:24:37 »
That's what she said.
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Offline noisyturtle

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Re: Funny One-Liners!
« Reply #25 on: Tue, 30 December 2014, 23:45:49 »
How is Topre like a pile of ****?

It feels like ****, and smells like ****, and it's like a dookie diarrhea poop **** dripping out of a dead buffalo's ******* when you finger it and get your fingers all covered in metaphorical **** by proxy.

*buh dum tiss
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