OFFICIAL 2015 GH PRESIDENT RULER OF THE WORLD THREAD

[tjcaustin]

hoffman can be a center if we ever have to settle beef with basketball games. cba what can you bring to the table?

I'm like Ron Artest, I'm good in a brawl. Need an elbow in the ribcage? Illegal screens? I got you....but only on the court. I don't fight IRL.

CBA is there if we ever have to settle the beef with math.

And what's really more important? Counting stacks or points on the court?

Food and drink are fleeting

Please. If Rome was won on bread and circus, so can Geekhack.

Rome fell because they were so interested in those breads and circii.  Do you suggest that geekhack should fall to heathens?

BREAKING NEWS: So-called "Captain"BadAss wants geekhack to fall.

[tp4tissue]

hoffman can be a center if we ever have to settle beef with basketball games. cba what can you bring to the table?

I'm like Ron Artest, I'm good in a brawl. Need an elbow in the ribcage? Illegal screens? I got you....but only on the court. I don't fight IRL.

CBA is there if we ever have to settle the beef with math.

And what's really more important? Counting stacks or points on the court?

Food and drink are fleeting

Please. If Rome was won on bread and circus, so can Geekhack.

Rome fell because they were so interested in those breads and circii.  Do you suggest that geekhack should fall to heathens?

BREAKING NEWS: So-called "Captain"BadAss wants geekhack to fall.

Rome fell due to decadence and complacency.. + over spread occupational forces..

Decadence,  icecream

Complacency, Beer

Overspread OCupation force:  Basketball game..


It's all coming together..

[tjcaustin]

hoffman can be a center if we ever have to settle beef with basketball games. cba what can you bring to the table?

I'm like Ron Artest, I'm good in a brawl. Need an elbow in the ribcage? Illegal screens? I got you....but only on the court. I don't fight IRL.

CBA is there if we ever have to settle the beef with math.

And what's really more important? Counting stacks or points on the court?

Food and drink are fleeting

Please. If Rome was won on bread and circus, so can Geekhack.

Rome fell because they were so interested in those breads and circii.  Do you suggest that geekhack should fall to heathens?

BREAKING NEWS: So-called "Captain"BadAss wants geekhack to fall.

Rome fell due to decadence and complacency.. + over spread occupational forces..

Decadence,  icecream

Complacency, Beer

Overspread OCupation force:  Basketball game..


It's all coming together..

My position so strong, tp4 agrees with it.

[tp4tissue]

hoffman can be a center if we ever have to settle beef with basketball games. cba what can you bring to the table?

I'm like Ron Artest, I'm good in a brawl. Need an elbow in the ribcage? Illegal screens? I got you....but only on the court. I don't fight IRL.

CBA is there if we ever have to settle the beef with math.

And what's really more important? Counting stacks or points on the court?

Food and drink are fleeting

Please. If Rome was won on bread and circus, so can Geekhack.

Rome fell because they were so interested in those breads and circii.  Do you suggest that geekhack should fall to heathens?

BREAKING NEWS: So-called "Captain"BadAss wants geekhack to fall.

Rome fell due to decadence and complacency.. + over spread occupational forces..

Decadence,  icecream

Complacency, Beer

Overspread OCupation force:  Basketball game..


It's all coming together..

My position so strong, tp4 agrees with it.

Fine.. but what about lobster...   maybe crayfish ?

[tjcaustin]

hoffman can be a center if we ever have to settle beef with basketball games. cba what can you bring to the table?

I'm like Ron Artest, I'm good in a brawl. Need an elbow in the ribcage? Illegal screens? I got you....but only on the court. I don't fight IRL.

CBA is there if we ever have to settle the beef with math.

And what's really more important? Counting stacks or points on the court?

Food and drink are fleeting

Please. If Rome was won on bread and circus, so can Geekhack.

Rome fell because they were so interested in those breads and circii.  Do you suggest that geekhack should fall to heathens?

BREAKING NEWS: So-called "Captain"BadAss wants geekhack to fall.

Rome fell due to decadence and complacency.. + over spread occupational forces..

Decadence,  icecream

Complacency, Beer

Overspread OCupation force:  Basketball game..


It's all coming together..

My position so strong, tp4 agrees with it.

Fine.. but what about lobster...   maybe crayfish ?

whynotboth.jpg

But not too much, of course.

[Novus]

I nominate yo momma.
Yo momma so fat only she could glop down this bull**** political lard and do a pork barrel roll afterwards.

[HoffmanMyster]

I would like to make a public response to TJ here.

I wish you no harm, and I have no interest in treading on your territory here.  You are king of klaxons, cables, and more, and I could never dream of besting you at your sport.  I would like for the two of us to co-exist in a sort of harmony the likes of which haven't been seen by any in ages.  Something reminiscent of "the good old days" of your choosing.  You know what I'm talking about.  We can do it.  Dreams do come true.

[demik]

GH EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS

CANDIDATE TJCAUSTIN HAILS FROM TEXAS BUT DOES NOT OWN A GUN OR A TRUCK. POSSIBLY HAS EBOLA. MORE AT 12

[tp4tissue]

I nominate yo momma.
Yo momma so fat only she could glop down this bull**** political lard and do a pork barrel roll afterwards.

Tp4 willing to be your temporary irresponsible guardian and let you eat all the bacon and lard grease you like..

[tp4tissue]

I would like to make a public response to TJ here.

I wish you no harm, and I have no interest in treading on your territory here.  You are king of klaxons, cables, and more, and I could never dream of besting you at your sport.  I would like for the two of us to co-exist in a sort of harmony the likes of which haven't been seen by any in ages.  Something reminiscent of "the good old days" of your choosing.  You know what I'm talking about.  We can do it.  Dreams do come true.

Don't listen TJ..  this is Hoff's ploy to draw you into a false sense of security and fair competition..

Every time he smiles... the daggers and ninja stars are not far behind,

[tjcaustin]

I would like to make a public response to TJ here.

I wish you no harm, and I have no interest in treading on your territory here.  You are king of klaxons, cables, and more, and I could never dream of besting you at your sport.  I would like for the two of us to co-exist in a sort of harmony the likes of which haven't been seen by any in ages.  Something reminiscent of "the good old days" of your choosing.  You know what I'm talking about.  We can do it.  Dreams do come true.

Tall and bearded united for the cause of a strong GH has a good ring to it.  Plus we'd dominate both the basketball court and shoulder wars.

GH EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS

CANDIDATE TJCAUSTIN HAILS FROM TEXES BUT DOES NOT OWN A GUN OR A TRUCK. POSSIBLY HAS EBOLA. MORE AT 12

The lamestream media would have you believe that I don't have things or do things that I have and do.  Don't fall for CaptainBadAss's propaganda.

Also, I would hire Babymetal to be official GH band.

I would like to make a public response to TJ here.

I wish you no harm, and I have no interest in treading on your territory here.  You are king of klaxons, cables, and more, and I could never dream of besting you at your sport.  I would like for the two of us to co-exist in a sort of harmony the likes of which haven't been seen by any in ages.  Something reminiscent of "the good old days" of your choosing.  You know what I'm talking about.  We can do it.  Dreams do come true.

Don't listen TJ..  this is Hoff's ploy to draw you into a false sense of security and fair competition..

Every time he smiles... the daggers and ninja stars are not far behind,

I'm immune to ninja star damage.

[demik]

MORE BREAKING NEWS HOFFMAN USES CHINESE CHILD LABOR FOR HIS NINJA STAR PRODUCTION.

COULD CBA BE A VICTIM? MORE AT 9

[rarar]

Scandalous!

[tp4tissue]

MORE BREAKING NEWS HOFFMAN USES CHINESE CHILD LABOR FOR HIS NINJA STAR PRODUCTION.

COULD CBA BE A VICTIM? MORE AT 9

[Novus]

Where's the story of redemption, bible thumping, muslim bashing, illegal immigrant exploiting and brazilian mistresses?

This is too mild.
Crank it up a notch please.

[HoffmanMyster]

MORE BREAKING NEWS HOFFMAN USES CHINESE CHILD LABOR FOR HIS NINJA STAR PRODUCTION.

COULD CBA BE A VICTIM? MORE AT 9

I have ninja stars?!?!

 

[tp4tissue]

Where's the story of redemption, bible thumping, muslim bashing, illegal immigrant exploiting and brazilian mistresses?

This is too mild.
Crank it up a notch please.

Tp4 grew up on the dangerous streets of the PRC..

@ the age of 5, he went down a dangerous path due to a complete lack of parental supervision.

He began smoking, drinking, gambling and stealing at a young age..

His first fortune, a bootleg set of SD-Gundam model kits lifted from the school stationary store.


Briefly after immigration to the United States to find his parents.. TP4's troubled past followed him..

Not soon after, Tp4 was arrested for possession of fireworks, a crime equivalent to possession of firearms in the state of NJ..

After paying his debt to society accomplishing 2 tedious hours of community service and writing a 2000 word essay..  He set his sights on reform


Finally getting to college,  Tp4 briefly found religion, as there were these cute relgious chix he wanted to impress @ the Korean Catholicism studies club.


Today, Tp4 is a model citizen.. he spends his time charitably extolling words of wisdom and sharing his experiences with the world.

Idiots and savants alike are welcomed listeners..  Tp4 is generous and accommodating to all except hypocrites..


//Written and certified by the Tp4 Foundation for Awesomitude




I believe this hits all your detail prompts...

[demik]

mr austin, how does it feel having a running mate that not only uses child labor for weapons but also apparently fights puppies? AND Will you distance yourself from him or continue your tall and bearded campaign?

[CPTBadAss]

How can the electorate even vote for him knowing that he may be an ebola carrier and could drop dead on the campaign?

[dustinhxc]

I challenge all comers to a debate. And by debate, I mean Pokemon battle.

Id watch a Pokemon Stadium Battle. Go Hoffman!

[tp4tissue]

How can the electorate even vote for him knowing that he may be an ebola carrier and could drop dead on the campaign?

you don't drop dead from ebola.

[Binge]

How can the electorate even vote for him knowing that he may be an ebola carrier and could drop dead on the campaign?

I have strong feelings about ebola, and even stronger anti-bodies.  No ebola loving pres will ever win my vote!  Do I need to research this issue?  Hell-o no!  The facts only get in the way of freedom.

Wild speculation and name calling win in the long run!

[tp4tissue]

How can the electorate even vote for him knowing that he may be an ebola carrier and could drop dead on the campaign?

I have strong feelings about ebola, and even stronger anti-bodies.  No ebola loving pres will ever win my vote!  Do I need to research this issue?  Hell-o no!  The facts only get in the way of freedom.

Wild speculation and name calling win in the long run!

did u see that new ebola nurse?

[Binge]

How can the electorate even vote for him knowing that he may be an ebola carrier and could drop dead on the campaign?

I have strong feelings about ebola, and even stronger anti-bodies.  No ebola loving pres will ever win my vote!  Do I need to research this issue?  Hell-o no!  The facts only get in the way of freedom.

Wild speculation and name calling win in the long run!

did u see that new ebola nurse?

I did and I think she's very stupid.

[tp4tissue]

How can the electorate even vote for him knowing that he may be an ebola carrier and could drop dead on the campaign?

I have strong feelings about ebola, and even stronger anti-bodies.  No ebola loving pres will ever win my vote!  Do I need to research this issue?  Hell-o no!  The facts only get in the way of freedom.

Wild speculation and name calling win in the long run!

did u see that new ebola nurse?

I did and I think she's very stupid.

but cute righ?

[Binge]

Intellect scores points for me in the beauty dept.  Anyone willing to fly with a fever is a real jerk-off.

[eth0s]

I'm still undecided. 

I was going to vote for rarar, who was the obvious choice, until he backed out of the race apparently on Page 2 for failing to know how to buy marijuana.

So this is such a hard choice, to choose from. 

First, I unequivocally like dreams.

But ice cream is pretty nice too.

Beer is a little nicer though, I must say.

IF somebody had both - like this:



That might help me make up my undecided mind.

But then again, that TJ is pretty charismatic, so there's that to contend with.

Is that nice boy CptBadAss running?  B/c that will make it tough to decide.

Anyway, my main interests, as some of you may know, are unicorns and rainbows.  So if you want to pander to me, you'll need more of this:



and this:



possibly some of this:

[tp4tissue]

Intellect scores points for me in the beauty dept.  Anyone willing to fly with a fever is a real jerk-off.

welllllll...... ok...... but for many people , low income, they can't waste as much money.  you can't get ur money back on plane tickets...

[CPTBadAss]

Is that nice boy CptBadAss running?  B/c that will make it tough to decide.

I am indeed. In addition to beer and ice cream, I move to make the official animal a unicorn....who is pink and purple.

[demik]

anonymous sources have informed me hoffman conned tjcaustin to send the ebola nurse to ohio to wipe out cba and planned on exposing tj before the election insuring a win.

[esoomenona]

.

[Lurch]

To all of the candidates:

Do you love this ****?
Are you high right now?
Do you ever get nervous?
Are you single?
I heard you **** your girl; is it true?
Are you getting money?
Do you think that squad you're with is with you?

weed 'em out

[Binge]

Hey candidates,

What actions have you taken to win the vote of the ergonomically concerned typist?

[eth0s]

To all of the candidates:

Do you love this ****?
Are you high right now?
Do you ever get nervous?
Are you single?
I heard you **** your girl; is it true?
Are you getting money?
Do you think that squad you're with is with you?

ooh, a fun quiz?  I'm not running for office, but i love quizzes!

Q.  Do you love this ****?
A.  Meh. 

Q.  Are you high right now?
A.  zomg.  u have no idea.  About an hour ago I took 10mg Adderall + 8mg Dilaudid.  Such a nice buzz.  Focused, but mellow. (It's okay, it was RX'd by my psychiatrist.  And kids:  don't try this at home.  I'm a professional at getting high.)

Q.  Do you ever get nervous?
A.  Who me?  Well, sometimes, but I fake it like I'm not.  I'm kewl like that.

Q.  Are you single?
A.  Are you hitting on me?

Q.  I heard you **** your girl; is it true?
A.  This is kind of getting really personal.  I'm a bit uncomfortable.

Q.  Are you getting money?
A.  Wow, you are hitting on me. But yes, I am getting paid.  Beaucoup Ducats.

Q.  Do you think that squad you're with is with you?
A.  Hmm, I dunno, I guess you never know who's really with you until the zombie apocalypse happens.

[CPTBadAss]

• Do you love this ****?
• Are you high right now?
• Do you ever get nervous?
• Are you single?
• I heard you **** your girl; is it true?
• Are you getting money?
• Do you think that squad you're with is with you?

1) Hell yes
2) No
3) Nah
4) Yes
5) That's a little personal yeah?
6) I love counting stacks
7) Ride or die

What actions have you taken to win the vote of the ergonomically concerned typist?

I encourage typing breaks, changing mice/keyboards, stretching, and any ergonomic layout as long as it's the G80-5000.

[HipsterPunks]

• Do you love this ****?
• Are you high right now?
• Do you ever get nervous?
• Are you single?
• I heard you **** your girl; is it true?
• Are you getting money?
• Do you think that squad you're with is with you?

1) Hell yes
2) No
3) Nah
4) Yes
5) That's a little personal yeah?
6) I love counting stacks
7) Ride or die

What actions have you taken to win the vote of the ergonomically concerned typist?

I encourage typing breaks, changing mice/keyboards, stretching, and any ergonomic layout as long as it's the G80-5000.

now you say you support "change" and "switch diversity" but i fear a powerful ALPs dictatorship in the works. What measures or "safety nets" will be instituted to keep ALPs switches safely out of the publics hands

[CPTBadAss]

now you say you support "change" and "switch diversity" but i fear a powerful ALPs dictatorship in the works. What measures or "safety nets" will be instituted to keep ALPs switches safely out of the publics hands

I love all switches. Alps, buckling spring, MX, Hall Effect, beamsprang, that weird acoustic thing Haata found...the list goes on and on. Why would I keep them out of hands when I encourage diversity? I encourage you to type on what your little heart desires....even if you're wrong about Alps.

[demik]

now you say you support "change" and "switch diversity" but i fear a powerful ALPs dictatorship in the works. What measures or "safety nets" will be instituted to keep ALPs switches safely out of the publics hands

I love all switches. Alps, buckling spring, MX, Hall Effect, beamsprang, that weird acoustic thing Haata found...the list goes on and on. Why would I keep them out of hands when I encourage diversity? I encourage you to type on what your little heart desires....even if you're wrong about Alps.

i find your lack of topre disturing. tj and hoff are strong topre supporters. topre is what people want. topre is what people love.

[noisyturtle]

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

[CPTBadAss]

i find your lack of topre disturing. tj and hoff are strong topre supporters. topre is what people want. topre is what people love.

Just because I don't embrace your alternative lifestyle doesn't mean I don't support your right to enjoy it. Embrace that cup rubber. We can all be happy together....just not under Hoff.

[tp4tissue]

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

Tp4 volunteer to be puppet dictator..   but Once Tp4 is installed,  Tp4 cannot promise that Tp4 won't research WMDs in secret, and attempt to decouple imperialist rule..

[byker]

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

Tp4 volunteer to be puppet dictator..   but Once Tp4 is installed,  Tp4 cannot promise that Tp4 won't research WMDs in secret, and attempt to decouple imperialist rule..

Show Image

I saw whoever wins (as long as it isn't Tp4) bans the usage of Tp4's emoticons  :p

[tp4tissue]

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

Tp4 volunteer to be puppet dictator..   but Once Tp4 is installed,  Tp4 cannot promise that Tp4 won't research WMDs in secret, and attempt to decouple imperialist rule..

Show Image

I saw whoever wins (as long as it isn't Tp4) bans the usage of Tp4's emoticons  :p

dude if you don't like the emoticons, just use adblock, and u won't see them no more.. it's personal preference..

[demik]

i find your lack of topre disturing. tj and hoff are strong topre supporters. topre is what people want. topre is what people love.

Just because I don't embrace your alternative lifestyle doesn't mean I don't support your right to enjoy it. Embrace that cup rubber. We can all be happy together....just not under Hoff.

multiple sources have told me that being under hoff leads to happiness  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[byker]

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

Tp4 volunteer to be puppet dictator..   but Once Tp4 is installed,  Tp4 cannot promise that Tp4 won't research WMDs in secret, and attempt to decouple imperialist rule..

Show Image

I saw whoever wins (as long as it isn't Tp4) bans the usage of Tp4's emoticons  :p

Show Image

dude if you don't like the emoticons, just use adblock, and u won't see them no more.. it's personal preference..

I was only joking, as I thought the nature of this thread was intended for.

[tp4tissue]

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

Tp4 volunteer to be puppet dictator..   but Once Tp4 is installed,  Tp4 cannot promise that Tp4 won't research WMDs in secret, and attempt to decouple imperialist rule..

Show Image

I saw whoever wins (as long as it isn't Tp4) bans the usage of Tp4's emoticons  :p

Show Image

dude if you don't like the emoticons, just use adblock, and u won't see them no more.. it's personal preference..

I was only joking, as I thought the nature of this thread was intended for.

[tjcaustin]

I believe with my guiding influence, hoofman can and will stop using child labor manufactured ninja stars. 

Reports of me attempting to assassinate CBA are embellished.  If I tried to assassinate him, no one would know I did it.

To all of the candidates:

Do you love this ****?
Are you high right now?
Do you ever get nervous?
Are you single?
I heard you **** your girl; is it true?
Are you getting money?
Do you think that squad you're with is with you?

1.  I love no ****, that's how you get ebola
2.  I have never tried even one weed.
3.  Only when I talk to pretty ladies.
4.  And ready to mingle.
5.  Someone's got to do it
6 .  I've been known to get dat money.
7.  D-Squad is in my heart forever.

-

Hey candidates,

What actions have you taken to win the vote of the ergonomically concerned typist?

Ergo peripheral based tax incentives will be robust and plentiful.  Also, I suggest one 15 minute ice cream and unicorn break every hour on the hour.

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

I have a list of your militia's leaders and will be sending them packages that will ensure their support of their King, Klaxon.

i find your lack of topre disturing. tj and hoff are strong topre supporters. topre is what people want. topre is what people love.

Just because I don't embrace your alternative lifestyle doesn't mean I don't support your right to enjoy it. Embrace that cup rubber. We can all be happy together....just not under Hoff.

Respectfully, how can we be happy under a president that admittedly does not feed himself regularly, well or with any variety?  As your King, you will be provided with all the meals you could desire in all the dietary wants you can dream.

I have a small militia ready to overthrow the new leader once announced. We will not be stepped upon! Seize the controllers and burn their villas!

Tp4 volunteer to be puppet dictator..   but Once Tp4 is installed,  Tp4 cannot promise that Tp4 won't research WMDs in secret, and attempt to decouple imperialist rule..

Show Image

I saw whoever wins (as long as it isn't Tp4) bans the usage of Tp4's emoticons  :p

Show Image

dude if you don't like the emoticons, just use adblock, and u won't see them no more.. it's personal preference..

A vote for King Klaxon ensures every man, woman, child, otherkin and whatever other noun you might identify as will not have to use ad-block to avoid these emoji.

Remember, a vote for Klaxon is a vote for life, liberty, freedom and a fursuit of happiness.

[CPTBadAss]

Rumor has it that klaxons will awaken you in the middle of the night and cause babies to cry. Do you really want to wake up to crying babies and a loud ass alarm?

[tjcaustin]

Rumor has it that klaxons will awaken you in the middle of the night and cause babies to cry. Do you really want to wake up to crying babies and a loud ass alarm?

Alarms serve a legitimate purpose.  CBA wants you to be late to your engagements and get fired from your jobs.

[demik]

which one of you three will think of the children?