Thanks guys, OK, the closest thing I found is the ROCCAT ARVO, it's not tenkeyless but at least has the arrow keys embedded in the number keypad, 1000Hz polling, programmable software, three programmable buttons, 5 different setups, etc.
Retails for $50+. Found a new? (looks used) on EBay for $27 (including shipping).
I'll add it to my collection...