Author Topic: Gutz offers $100 cash and a job to the first person who can… READ CONDITIONS (Read 4485 times)

berserkfan · « **on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 00:45:02 »

Hi everyone

I am getting tired of dealing with certain types of people online. So I’m sacrificing lunchtime to rant.

I will offer $100 to anyone who can deal with these customers, SUPPLYING WHAT THEY WANT WITHOUT PISSING THEM OFF. I will also name you Customer Service Rep of the Year and enthusiastically recommend you for any Customer Relations or HR job you prefer. I have friends who are hiring. You may be located anywhere so long as you are willing to be on the internet phone.

1)   Someone has no posts. He wants to build multiple custom keyboards in ortholinear layout ie 1x1 or 1x2 or 2x1. He will pay $10 for a set of keycaps. He has sent me many diagrams of his layouts, and wants me to find flat or relegendable keycaps that fit these layouts as well as alternative colours. He wants me to print out his layouts and photograph my keycaps on them.

2)   Someone has a few posts. He wants to buy $15 of stuff from me. He has also requested for 9 free keyboards. It looks like three or more 10kg boxes will be needed. He only wants to pay by paypal (which I consider a high risk transaction from the seller’s point of view). He has a record of asking for free stuff from me and refusing to pay shipping.

3)   Someone with very few posts has sent me 17 questions in google-translated English on a single free keyboard, and requests detailed photographs from multiple points of view. He also asks if shipping (already by sea mail) can be any cheaper.

4)   Someone has sent me three laundry lists of questions, at least 40 in all. Nearly all questions concerned free boards.

5)   Someone has sent me a long list of what he, his siblings, his cousins, his parents and his grandparents would like. Nearly everything he is asking for is free. He personally wants for free… a keyboard that I already marked PAID over a week ago. How could he have not noticed the word PAID, I do not know. I suppose since it is a four letter word like FREE, they look the same to people not literate in English?

6)   No time to write more. But difficult customers are legion. A penny a dozen, a dime a gross. You can meet their needs, $100 cash is yours. I won’t have time to answer PMs until 10+ hours from now/ midnight my time zone, so no rush for the job application.

Venatorious · « **Reply #1 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:03:09 »

I'll do it

gain · « **Reply #2 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:09:46 »

Of course you'll do it ven, money's involved

I have enough downtime at work to genuinely consider this... Sounds like a good chance to facepalm like I've never facepalmed before

Venatorious · « **Reply #3 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:15:48 »

I know this might sound dishonest but it really isn't about the cash...

I like gutz and these troll/noob buyers irritate me. Also its a chance to just type and type and I love responding to messages. That is what all this keyboard stuff is for right?

I would most likely volunteer anyway even if money wasn't involved.

gain · « **Reply #4 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:20:44 »

Quote from: Venatorious on Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:15:48

I know this might sound dishonest but it really isn't about the cash...

I like gutz and these troll/noob buyers irritate me. Also its a chance to just type and type and I love responding to messages. That is what all this keyboard stuff is for right?

I would most likely volunteer anyway even if money wasn't involved.

Just poking a bit of fun nothing bad intended, sorry if it came across in a particularly negative manner though.

And aye, I agree and same. I deal with some frustrating people at my job (time sensitive tech support basically) and as a result I'd be more than happy to use my experience to give a hand where needed.

Venatorious · « **Reply #5 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:23:38 »

It's all good, no offense taken

People do not understand that you can use google to look something up instead of asking the seller, especially when the seller has to deal with hundreds of other PM's.

kekman · « **Reply #6 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 03:15:24 »

ahh, the woes of selling/giving away items for cheap/nothing

on the topic of your sale gutz, turns out there's no moneygrams near me in reasonable distance so tomorrow when i get home i'll be heading straight to one

bocahgundul · « **Reply #7 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 03:45:10 »

gutz cmon I want to buy your item and I don't want any freebies reply me man

Belfong · « **Reply #8 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 04:18:04 »

I have 1001 questions to be sent to you to claim your $100. Can you let me know which email I can send it to?

SpAmRaY · « **Reply #9 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 05:54:27 »

It's amazing how hard it can be to give things away.

fohat.digs · « **Reply #10 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 06:59:21 »

Quote from: SpAmRaY on Mon, 25 April 2016, 05:54:27

It's amazing how hard it can be to give things away.

Yes, I remember a psychology study when I was in college where someone walked down the street giving away $10 bills. About a third of the people refused them.

tp4tissue · « **Reply #11 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 11:43:35 »

It's probably just kids.. who don't really understand _the world_ yet..

alienman82 · « **Reply #12 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 14:11:44 »

removed.

3K · « **Reply #13 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 15:52:37 »

Is claiming the 100 bucks including all free boards who are being questioned an option?

xtrafrood · « **Reply #14 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 18:03:50 »

I don't need the $100. I already have a job, but I'll answer all the questions for ya.

1. No.
2. No.
3. No.
4. No.
5. No.

Leslieann · « **Reply #15 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 19:25:02 »

#1 Tell him to find a lake with a short dock and take a long walk.
#2 See #1

#3 Everyone thinks they can find shipping cheaper, especially foreign shipping, the average person has no idea how quickly the cost escalates as weight and size goes up. Your 3 pound Christmas gift in a small box sent across the country is not the same thing as shipping something larger than a mini fridge and weighs 40 pounds half way around the world. My company gets almost half off on shipping and people ALWAYS think they can get it cheaper. Sorry, but when OUR cost is $600, your friend isn't going to be able to ship it to Australia for a tenth of that.

Not to mention you just ruined any quick resolution if something happens in transit. If we ship it and a small part breaks, we can send you another rather than bothering with the insurer. Your buddy ships it, you might have to file a claim through insurance and battle it with them, and since your buddy probably shorted the insurance to save a buck... Why would we send a replacement part to Australia when it was picked up locally by someone other than you and was in perfect shape when it left our facility? It's not our problem, talk to your former friend and the shipper.

#4 Do you want it or not... Otherwise, See #2.

#5 Delete

#6 When in doubt, see 1 and 5

berserkfan · « **Reply #16 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 22:51:08 »

Quote from: fohat.digs on Mon, 25 April 2016, 06:59:21

Quote from: SpAmRaY on Mon, 25 April 2016, 05:54:27
It's amazing how hard it can be to give things away.

Yes, I remember a psychology study when I was in college where someone walked down the street giving away $10 bills. About a third of the people refused them.

Um... wouldn't that be during the MacCarthy witch hunt period? Probably they were afraid of taking money from socialists?

)

LunarisDream · « **Reply #17 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 23:37:53 »

Offload all free stuff domestically/locally to people who you know won't cause you issues.

If the net gain of everything you're trying to sell that's described in the OP is less than $100, skip the hassle, keep the $100 that you were gonna give away here, and simply disregard everything.

If it's worth more than $100 to you (i.e. not just all free stuff), only try to solve the issues that are the easiest to solve.

Basically your willingness to lose $100 means you can save yourself $100's worth of trouble by not dealing with it.

Venatorious · « **Reply #18 on:** Mon, 25 April 2016, 23:46:59 »

I think berserkfan wants it to go to people who are gonna use it, he is utilitarian and doesn't want stuff to be thrown away or not appreciated. I don't think he would be doing anything for free if that were not the case.

berserkfan · « **Reply #19 on:** Tue, 26 April 2016, 11:29:01 »

Quote from: Venatorious on Mon, 25 April 2016, 23:46:59

I think berserkfan wants it to go to people who are gonna use it, he is utilitarian and doesn't want stuff to be thrown away or not appreciated. I don't think he would be doing anything for free if that were not the case.

You got my personality right.

I just don't like to throw things away if it could help other people. Take for example, baby strollers and beds. These are of ZERO value to 99% of people at any time. But the 1% really need them. We've benefitted from others who passed us their baby stuff, and we've also benefitted others by passing them our baby stuff.

Anyway I'm shipping tomorrow, even before I promised to. I really want to get piles of stuff OUT of my house.

JohnLuker · « **Reply #20 on:** Tue, 26 April 2016, 12:39:22 »

Quote from: Venatorious on Mon, 25 April 2016, 01:23:38

People do not understand that you can use google to look something up

I think there is an equilibrium to the universe. For every event where a person doesn't use google when they should, there exists one event where a person is asked "Is it plugged in/turned on?"

berserkfan · « **Reply #21 on:** Wed, 27 April 2016, 09:53:09 »

just for public entertainment, vote in this poll I created:

https://deskthority.net/off-topic-f10/what-is-the-appropriate-reply-t13637.html

kekman · « **Reply #22 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 03:26:21 »

kekman offers $100 cash and a job to the first person who can... SHIP THE RIGHT ORDERS

LunarisDream · « **Reply #23 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 04:44:51 »

Quote from: kekman on Tue, 31 May 2016, 03:26:21

kekman offers $100 cash and a job to the first person who can... SHIP THE RIGHT ORDERS

Dibs

rowdy · « **Reply #24 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 05:45:23 »

Quote from: kekman on Tue, 31 May 2016, 03:26:21

kekman offers $100 cash and a job to the first person who can... SHIP THE RIGHT ORDERS

This actually happens most of the time. Events like this particular sale are, fortunately, the exception.

fohat.digs · « **Reply #25 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 08:03:36 »

Quote from: rowdy on Tue, 31 May 2016, 05:45:23

Events like this particular sale are, fortunately, the exception.

Yes, I learned very early on when I put the wrong label on a box of rare jazz LPs sent to Italy! Fortunately, the woman was understanding and forwarded them (unopened) to Germany for me. I had not yet sealed her proper package, so I gave her a couple of records free and reimbursed her for postage to Germany via Paypal.

Then there was the time I got 2 orders on the same day, from James Richard and from Richard James, and I reversed them .....

Blackehart · « **Reply #26 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 11:15:32 »

You got an order from Rick James?!?!?!

If I was named Richard James, EVERYONE within a 20 mile radius would know I was named Rick James...

xtrafrood · « **Reply #27 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 11:48:23 »

I'm totally fine with socialists, but I know when something is too good to be true.

Data · « **Reply #28 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 14:25:14 »

Here's how you deal with them:

Ignore them.

Too many questions? Ain't nobody got time for that. Ignore them.

Requests approaching greedy and unreasonable? Hah! No. Ignore them.

Requests coming from lurkers and unknown entities with no verifiable history? Too risky. Ignore them.

You're not running a business or a charity here. You don't deal with these people because you don't have to. Just ignore them.

But while you're ignoring them... make a note of their bad behavior. They will try to use your ignoring against you later, and you must be prepared to respond to it.

You can keep your money.

Floody · « **Reply #29 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 14:32:57 »

People still discussing how he can respond to someone after he stopped responding to everyone?

fohat.digs · « **Reply #30 on:** Tue, 31 May 2016, 14:56:03 »

Quote from: Blackehart on Tue, 31 May 2016, 11:15:32

You got an order from Rick James?

Richard James, and I am pretty sure it was the Aphex Twin guy.
It was a very rare, obscure 1960s avant-garde electronic album.

News:

Author Topic: Gutz offers $100 cash and a job to the first person who can… READ CONDITIONS (Read 4485 times)