HUNTERANGEL121:
In short, life is what you make of it, and its meaning is the meaning you attach to it.
Up until now people have probably been telling you what to do, how to live, what to think about, what to value.
If you want, you can continue to cede control over your life to other people; go with the flow, try to copy what other people seem to do; adopt whatever career path seems easiest and most natural; try to learn to develop relationships (as a friend, a lover, a disciple, a mentor) with people who seem socially acceptable within your circle of acquaintances; apply yourself to working hard on whatever your job tells you to work hard on; set your ethical standards and boundaries based on the prevailing order around you; work to build your reputation and status.
(The biggest attraction of every religion is this ceding of control: by following a particular practice with a group of other followers, you gain structure, and can adopt the meaning that the religious organization or text has already decided on. This allows you to avoid worrying about them, at least delaying such consideration to some time in the indefinite future.)
Many people (perhaps most) decide to live like this, or feel forced to by circumstance. Along the way, it is still possible to take pleasure in small things, to live to help other people, or to hedonistically throw yourself at whatever seems most exciting. Or alternately it is of course possible to rage against the world, or sink into apathetic depression.
There is nothing inherently wrong with living any particular way: indeed, none of us is far enough outside the game to give you a real answer about what this whole life thing is about or what you should do. I personally don’t think such an answer from outside is possible. The answers have to come from your own introspection and conviction.
Personally, I think it is important for every human to take the time, from time to time, to (a) consider what he or she is doing, and the purposes it serves, and to (b) try to empathize with all the other people around, consider their thoughts, goals, values, and actions, and to try to construct a generous and open minded interpretation of their reasons for acting the way they do. (Very occasionally no generous interpretation is possible, but in my opinion it’s always worth trying.)
All the best luck.
