Well, here's a real life testimonial. 5 months ago I changed the way I eat completely and I log everything into myfitnesspal. I was fat. Still am. But I'm down 70 pounds so far.
You asked why calories matter if you hit your nutritional needs like carbs/fat/protein. Well, those three categories are the most important and they work based on percentages for each meal. For me it's 50% carbs, 30% fat and 20% protein. This is what having a "balanced diet" is. You can eat all day every day and consume massive amounts of calories and still hit the proper percentages for a "balanced diet". But you'll gain a ton of weight if you do that.
So you still need to know how many calories your body will burn at rest. This is called the basal metabolic rate. Any calories burned from cardio or other exercise need to be added to this BMR number and then you have to eat less than that to lose weight.
My suggested calorie consumption before any exercise is 1700 a day to maintain a 2 pound per week weight loss. That 1700 will get lower and lower as I get lighter (I started at something like 2500 calories a day).
Hopefully this answers your question.
Also if anyone is interested in knowing what foods I cut out, here it is. Cutting all this stuff out is not necessary in most cases but I do it anyway. It's very hard and it works very well (for me).
-No dairy
-No bread, pasta, or grains
-No caffeine
-No added salt
-No processed foods of any kind
-No sugar that isn't natural in fruits etc. So no junk food, period.
-And only eat red meat on occasion.
I get my calcium and other vitamins in other ways.
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Big applause for discipline. And if you're ok after losing 70 lbs and still call yourself fat (which I presume you have done the necessary research on) then you probably started out pretty bad and had a really tough uphill climb on to lose weight.
I suppose the biggest reason why fatties everywhere are disrespected, is really because they often place an unfair burden on limited resources (eg social services, take up space, crowd others out, etc) while the signs of their indulgence are obvious to all.
I mean, who wouldn't like to feast all day? If I had infinite food at no financial cost, and no consequences eg ability to make all excess calories vanish into a black hole, I too would be eating nonstop.