went to dr.. have to have biopsy.. should I tell my wife or wait for results?

[atarione]

I had to have something checked out.. went to dr. today they said they need to do a biopsy .. the question is should I tell my wife about the biopsy or shut up and say nothing unless they find something?

I figure say nothing as my wife will freak out / worry potentially for nothing and there isn't nothing she can do about it anyways.

but curious how all y'all would approach this..

I'll be a bit miffed if they find something as I could have been totally wasting time with this retirement planning bs all these years 

[tp4tissue]

You do not need to alert the wife at this moment, it will not affect the outcome, and a few days/weeks of suspense would do nothing to soften the blow if the worst did occur.


What area are they biopsy-n' ??

Whatever they find or don't find.

just remember,  never 2 late 4 Veggie

Milk = cancer
Animal proteins = cancer

Most Oncologists are businessmen more than they are doctors.

[tp4tissue]

Also, keep in mind,  Everyone, Already HAS cancer.

What they're checking out is whether the cell-count (in the area of interest) has reached the point where the cancer will grow to uncontrollable levels (within) a time frame as to greatly shorten your expected lifespan.


That is the underlying mechanism behind the controversy on mammography. While the Dollar bills keep selling people to get mammograms, the detection minimum is ~ 1 million cells.  At which point, scanning vs non-scan has no impact on survival rate, because it's fundamentally detecting too late if it even detects it at all.

[Leslieann]

I had to have something checked out.. went to dr. today they said they need to do a biopsy .. the question is should I tell my wife about the biopsy or shut up and say nothing unless they find something?

Most important thing in a marriage is communication.

Telling her will stress her out, not telling her is a recipe for disaster/divorce.

[Findecanor]

Making a diagnosis can be hard. A test could be made to confirm or rule out something, or to get a lead on something for further study. Some doctors take more tests than others: it could because of experience or out of insecurity, or just out of habit ... or to be able to charge more.

Unless your doctor has told you that you have something or other, a test is just a test.

... but do make sure that the doctors follow each lead to its conclusion!

[iri]

Wait for results of course.

[SBJ]

I had to have something checked out.. went to dr. today they said they need to do a biopsy .. the question is should I tell my wife about the biopsy or shut up and say nothing unless they find something?

Most important thing in a marriage is communication.

Telling her will stress her out, not telling her is a recipe for disaster/divorce.

I agree with this.

[atarione]

well..   after some debate I let my wife know what was up.. hopefully that was the right choice? who knows.. she has "concerns"
 but I suppose just as well... I guess I'd rather know if something like this was up with her.

I won't tell my mom about this issue however, unless there is something to tell.   

[p_blaze]

I had to have something checked out.. went to dr. today they said they need to do a biopsy .. the question is should I tell my wife about the biopsy or shut up and say nothing unless they find something?

I figure say nothing as my wife will freak out / worry potentially for nothing and there isn't nothing she can do about it anyways.

but curious how all y'all would approach this..

I'll be a bit miffed if they find something as I could have been totally wasting time with this retirement planning bs all these years 

Never take advice from internet strangers. Talk to a friend IRL. And if you don't have friends, then you have bigger problems than your biopsy.

[suicidal_orange]

Never take advice from internet strangers. Talk to a friend IRL. And if you don't have friends, then you have bigger problems than your biopsy.

If he told an IRL friend he would have risked the 'news' getting back to his wife should he have decided not to tell her, internet 'strangers' are safer.  That said the posters in this thread are regulars and I'd value their opinions as much as anyone who happens to have lived near me at some time...

Personally I tell as little as possible to as few people as possible so assuming I felt healthy telling anyone an over-zealous doctor wanted to do a test wouldn't even cross my mind.

I hope they don't keep you waiting for the results for too long and that your wife and mum aren't close (see above - some people feel obligated to disclose things)

[chuckdee]

I had to have something checked out.. went to dr. today they said they need to do a biopsy .. the question is should I tell my wife about the biopsy or shut up and say nothing unless they find something?

Most important thing in a marriage is communication.

Telling her will stress her out, not telling her is a recipe for disaster/divorce.

^ this.  You might think you're protecting her, but it's her life too, and you're denying her the chance to make her own choices about how to deal with it.

[JP]

If you have to ask us then yes you should mention it to your wife.

[Rob27shred]

Damn, sorry to hear this, I hope the biopsy doesn't find anything! Although I would probably tell my wife/gf about it if I were in a similar situation. I completely get where you are coming from not wanting to have her stress out & worry about it, but I would tell her cause she may take it the wrong way if something turns up & you have to get treatment. In that case you'd have to tell her & with something this serious you never know how she'll take the fact you'd didn't tell her straight away, even though you're doing it to protect her. Best wishes man!

[tp4tissue]

In that case you'd have to tell her & with something this serious you never know how she'll take the fact you'd didn't tell her straight away, even though you're doing it to protect her. Best wishes man!

I don't understand why you guys would see this as a problem..



IF test Positive, The cancer would be the problem, tattle or no tattle.   If wife raises objection , why didn't you tell me,   your absolute defense is,  didn't want to worry you,    From then, you move onto the discussion of  _Are you going to die_.  Which would effectively Supersede all notion of " didn't tell wife earlier."



If it's 404, cancer Not found,  Then the whole discussion may as well not exist; Nothing's changed regardless of anything said.