Ok, a Jewish joke. But it's visual, so try to imagine it.
Q: "Why do Jews have big ears and receding hairlines?"
A: (put hands behind ears, pushing them forward): "How much?"
A: (pull hair back in horror): "HOLY SH!!!T!"
The OP called for 'horrible' and there you have it.
Ok, another:
So there's this guy with a 900 point I.Q. -- he's had elements that he's discovered named after him, he's wealthy beyond imagining, but he's so smart that he can hardly communicate with other people. So he finds a scientist who has developed a machine that can lower a person's I.Q. So the doctor asks how much lower he wants his I.Q. to be, and he settles on 300 -- figuring he would still be incredibly smart, but be able to interface better with carbon-based lifeforms.
So the doctor puts the guy in the I.Q.-reduction chamber, straps him in, and begins the process. Over the chamber there's a big digital readout showing the guy's I.Q. It starts at 900, then drops to 899, a few seconds pass, and it drops to 898, etc. So the doctor watches for a while, and the guys gets down to 600 points, and then the phone rings. It's the scientist's girlfriend, who immediately accuses him of cheating on her.
The scientist takes the call into the next room, and proceeds to have a knock-down, dragout fight with his girlfriend. He's so distracted that it's about two hours later that he realizes he's completely forgotten about his patient. He dashes back into the lab, and the digital readout over the patient's head is at '46' and ticks down to '45'. In a panic, the scientist rips the electrical cable from the wall to stop the machine.
Dragging his patient out of the chamber he slaps him around to wake him.
Scientist: "Sir, are you alright? Are you ok? ARE YOU OK!?"
Patient: (sings) "When Irish eyes are smiling..."
And a third:
A white guy, a Mexican and a Puerto-Rican man are walking down a beach when they discover a bottle in the sand. The Mexican grabs the bottle, opens it and (of course) a genie appears, granting them each a wish. The Mexican wishes that he and his entire family, that all Mexicans in fact, were all back in Mexico together. He vanishes in a puff of smoke. The Puerto Rican wishes that he and his family, and all Puerto Ricans were safe and happy back in Puerto Rico. He vanishes as well. So the genie turns to the white and says, "What's your wish, white guy?" The white guy says, "Now let me get this straight: all the Puerto Ricans are back in Puerto Rico, and all the Mexicans are back in Mexico?" The genie nods. "Then I guess I'll have a Coke."
