Author Topic: The Church Of Halverson  (Read 371227 times)

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Offline Capitalistix

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The Church Of Halverson
« on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 07:37:50 »
Is he a GirlShark? Or a WizBro?

« Last Edit: Sat, 13 April 2013, 10:34:45 by Capitalistix »

Offline Sifo

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #1 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 07:39:47 »
(Forever) Illustrious.

Offline Shadovved

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #2 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 07:40:42 »
Is he a GirlShark? Or a WizBro?

Both, actually ;)

Offline CPTBadAss

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #3 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 08:26:24 »
I heard he's Scarlett Johanssen...and mah bro :D
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Offline Capitalistix

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #4 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 08:49:08 »
Show Image


Are you impyling, that he is the prophesized one?

The one to walk both Girlshark and Wizbro paths, forsaking all relationships and societal ties so that he may suffer in silence and deliver us from our shortsighted unenlightened ways, as is his burden?

The one to end the reapers unending cycle?

The one to finish the fight?

The one to slay Alduin?

The one to eschew the princess' love, in order to maintain a pure path, no matter the castle?

Is this what it truly means to be the Son of Halver?

Offline Acetrak

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #5 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 09:13:18 »
What? How can you even ask that? It's so obvious...
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Offline CPTBadAss

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #6 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 09:37:29 »
He's the Girlbro Wizshark that is to bring balance to the caps and start a new era of GeekHack customs which will rival or even be better than the Korean Kustoms.

Did you not read the prophecy when you first joined??
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Offline mashby

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #7 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 09:42:27 »
He's the Girlbro Wizshark that is to bring balance to the caps and start a new era of GeekHack customs which will rival or even be better than the Korean Kustoms.

Did you not read the prophecy when you first joined??


Offline esoomenona

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #8 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 10:20:40 »
I just think he's a cool guy. Y'all might be reading too much into this... or maybe I'm his nemesis trying to lead you astray from his light.

But I'm not.



                                                                                          Or am I?

Offline Capitalistix

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Re: Halverson
« Reply #9 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 10:30:08 »
I just think he's a cool guy. Y'all might be reading too much into this... or maybe I'm his nemesis trying to lead you astray from his light.

But I'm not.



                                                                                          Or am I?

And with that, the moose cometh from Texas to lead the lambs unto darkness, for he be the Evilshark Antibro.

We are living the scripture my friends. Remember thy commandments and pray the true savior spread his light unto this thread before all is lost.

Offline Michael

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #10 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 10:34:54 »

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #11 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 10:55:02 »
And thus, on Saturday I rested.

Gotta love waking up to a thread like this. :D
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #12 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:01:19 »
I'm ready to be Halversonized.
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Offline mkawa

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #13 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:13:26 »
do you guys have a brochure? i am very interested..

to all the brilliant friends who have left us, and all the students who climb on their shoulders.

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #14 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:15:07 »
This is how the golden calf **** got started...... You're all going to burn-eth...

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #15 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:26:45 »
Brochures at the meetup.
And yes, there will be punch. It may or may not contain cyanide.
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #16 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:28:10 »
I'm looking forward to daily supply of virgins.
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Offline tp4tissue

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #17 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:28:27 »
Brochures at the meetup.
And yes, there will be punch. It may or may not contain cyanide.

I don't think people mind dying, they just don't want to be rap3d

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #18 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:30:06 »
Brochures at the meetup.
And yes, there will be punch. It may or may not contain cyanide.

I don't think people mind dying, they just don't want to be rap3d

Mmm it's not rap3 if you like it, and trust me, you'll like it here.

Oh and more virgins are being offered to you than any other cult is offering!
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #19 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:31:32 »
I'm looking forward to daily supply of virgins.

I don't understand how this is possible... Virginity is a step function,  in an instant, it's gone.. so honestly if you've "been" with a virgin, technically she was only a virgin "with you" for maybe all of 0.3 seconds....

Let's say you're muslim, and you get 72 x 0.3 seconds... that's only 21.6 seconds worth of virgin mating... 

IDK why terrorists would blow themselves up for that 21.6 seconds...

Offline Michael

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #20 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:31:48 »

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #21 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:33:32 »
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline Sifo

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #22 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:34:25 »
(Forever) Illustrious.

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #23 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:37:28 »
I'm looking forward to daily supply of virgins.

I don't understand how this is possible... Virginity is a step function,  in an instant, it's gone.. so honestly if you've "been" with a virgin, technically she was only a virgin "with you" for maybe all of 0.3 seconds....

Let's say you're muslim, and you get 72 x 0.3 seconds... that's only 21.6 seconds worth of virgin mating... 

IDK why terrorists would blow themselves up for that 21.6 seconds...

That's why I need daily supply of virgins so I'd get new ones everyday. I'm sure Halverson can make it happen. Halversonized me!!
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Offline noisyturtle

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #24 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:37:44 »
Halverson: the early years

if you understand this, +100 internetz

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #25 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:42:26 »
I'm looking forward to daily supply of virgins.

I don't understand how this is possible... Virginity is a step function,  in an instant, it's gone.. so honestly if you've "been" with a virgin, technically she was only a virgin "with you" for maybe all of 0.3 seconds....

Let's say you're muslim, and you get 72 x 0.3 seconds... that's only 21.6 seconds worth of virgin mating... 

IDK why terrorists would blow themselves up for that 21.6 seconds...

That's why I need daily supply of virgins so I'd get new ones everyday. I'm sure Halverson can make it happen. Halversonized me!!

Average sex sessions are from 16mins to an hour, let's say it's 30mins... you would need 6000 virgins PER session, if you had sex 3 times a day, that's 18000 virgins...  125,000 people turn 16 everyday in the USA, if half of those are virgins, you'd exhast the supply in only 3.47 DAYS with 1 guy using.. 

And since I'm assuming more than 1 of you are going to do this virgin thing at the "meetup" there's just no way..
and the transportation would be impossible.

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #26 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:45:47 »
Halverson: the early years
(Attachment Link)
if you understand this, +100 internetz

I knew about this before "SERIOUS" internetz... I was still on AOL dialup at the time.. had a pentium 75 MHZ epson pc..

I played megaman x on the included controller that came with the game.

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #27 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:45:47 »
Halverson: the early years
(Attachment Link)
if you understand this, +100 internetz

Lawl. I do fight crime and evil scientists.
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline Jocelyn

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #28 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:47:55 »
What is going on in this thread?  :)

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #29 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:49:06 »
What is going on in this thread?  :)

I think I created a church by bring very androgynous online.
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline noisyturtle

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #30 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:50:17 »
Halverson: the early years
(Attachment Link)
if you understand this, +100 internetz

I knew about this before "SERIOUS" internetz... I was still on AOL dialup at the time.. had a pentium 75 MHZ epson pc..

I played megaman x on the included controller that came with the game.
Dude, I own a copy of MegaMan X for the PC that comes with a controller as well. We should start a club that has all of the ten people on Earth who fit this profile!

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #31 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:51:21 »
I'm looking forward to daily supply of virgins.

I don't understand how this is possible... Virginity is a step function,  in an instant, it's gone.. so honestly if you've "been" with a virgin, technically she was only a virgin "with you" for maybe all of 0.3 seconds....

Let's say you're muslim, and you get 72 x 0.3 seconds... that's only 21.6 seconds worth of virgin mating... 

IDK why terrorists would blow themselves up for that 21.6 seconds...

That's why I need daily supply of virgins so I'd get new ones everyday. I'm sure Halverson can make it happen. Halversonized me!!

Average sex sessions are from 16mins to an hour, let's say it's 30mins... you would need 6000 virgins PER session, if you had sex 3 times a day, that's 18000 virgins...  125,000 people turn 16 everyday in the USA, if half of those are virgins, you'd exhast the supply in only 3.47 DAYS with 1 guy using.. 

And since I'm assuming more than 1 of you are going to do this virgin thing at the "meetup" there's just no way..
and the transportation would be impossible.

1 word - "Magic"   :p  Halverson is also a wizard.
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Offline inlikeflynn

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #32 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:51:49 »
I was wondering why I kept getting packages in the mail for Halverson marked "gift". Now I understand they are all gifts of worship for the Church of Halverson
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Offline Halverson

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« Reply #33 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:53:07 »
I was wondering why I kept getting packages in the mail for Halverson marked "gift". Now I understand they are all gifts of worship for the Church of Halverson

Flynn is my Saint Peter.
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline Jocelyn

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #34 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:53:27 »
I think I created a church by bring very androgynous online.

Fancy Schmancy!!

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #35 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:57:20 »
^No girls allowed in the Church of Halverson.
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Offline mushupork

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #36 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:58:51 »
I woke up to the doorbell ringing but when I got to the door there was no there.  It is windy so there was no literature.  Usually when this happens I blame the JH ... but ... was this instead the Halversonites?
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Offline tp4tissue

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #37 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 11:59:22 »
Halverson: the early years
(Attachment Link)
if you understand this, +100 internetz

I knew about this before "SERIOUS" internetz... I was still on AOL dialup at the time.. had a pentium 75 MHZ epson pc..

I played megaman x on the included controller that came with the game.
Dude, I own a copy of MegaMan X for the PC that comes with a controller as well. We should start a club that has all of the ten people on Earth who fit this profile!

Ok.. but no fat chics

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #38 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:02:29 »
I woke up to the doorbell ringing but when I got to the door there was no there.  It is windy so there was no literature.  Usually when this happens I blame the JH ... but ... was this instead the Halversonites?

Most likely. Do you live near any open bodies if water?
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline Jocelyn

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #39 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:02:44 »
^No girls allowed in the Church of Halverson.


Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #40 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:03:29 »
^No girls allowed in the Church of Halverson.

She can stay, she's a bro slice
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline esoomenona

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #41 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:04:40 »
^No girls allowed in the Church of Halverson.

She can stay, she's a bro slice
Dude, the false idols don't get to make up the rules. We make up the rules based on how much personal gain we can make.

Offline Michael

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #42 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:04:43 »

Ok.. but no fat chics


Beggars can't be choosers....

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #43 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:05:45 »


If that's how someone is being Halversonized then I'm out.
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Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #44 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:06:21 »
^No girls allowed in the Church of Halverson.

She can stay, she's a bro slice
Dude, the false idols don't get to make up the rules. We make up the rules based on how much personal gain we can make.

Fine, JEEZ!

Well at least appease me in the process.

I'm going to go cleanse away my sins with water and THC. When I come back...I want hilarity!
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline esoomenona

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #45 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:06:31 »

Offline Halverson

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The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #46 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:07:02 »
Show Image


If that's how someone is being Halversonized then I'm out.

I'd say it's not, but turns out I have no choice. I hope it's not....cause I want you in my elite force
I've got people to disappoint, I got mistakes to make.
How can you believe that I'm not a waste of space?
Oh I'm sorry to disappoint, I seldom save face.
But how can I speak your language
when I don't know my own....

Offline Jocelyn

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #47 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:08:50 »
If that's how someone is being Halversonized then I'm out.

It was a "Gif"izized representation of your post :)

Offline mmmty

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #48 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:10:36 »
I do like the taste of foot in my mouth once in a while  :p

Big mmmty giveaway coming up once I get off this hell hole they called work.
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Offline Jocelyn

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Re: The Church Of Halverson
« Reply #49 on: Sat, 13 April 2013, 12:19:13 »
Big mmmty giveaway coming up once I get off this hell hole they called work.