Reviews: In One Sentence

[Dihedral]

Give your opinion on any keyboard related product in one sentence. Be funny, informative or sarcastic: I will compile your responses into the OP. This should hopefully become a genuinely useful place to find succinct opinions and reviews.

KEYBOARDS

More

Mainstream Boards
Razer Blackwidow
Razer Blackwidow Ultimate: If you need something that sucks as bad as you in video games, this is for you. GL1TCH3D
Razer Blackwidow Tournament Edition:  Don't use it for typing. keyhopper
Corsair K65
Corsair K65/MX Red I've had for almost a year, no ping; and good build except for cheap ABS key caps; and some odd size key caps. aref
CM Storm QuickFire Rapid
CMQFR with MX/Red/Brown/Blue/ and Green had the dreaded ping. aref
KBT Pure Pro
KBT Pure Pro: Strange, but lovely. Bucake
Filco Majestouch 2
Filco M2 with MX/Red/Brown/Blue/ and Black, had the dreaded ping aref
Monoprice 9433
Monoprice 9433: Non-standard cheap decentness. Nai_Calus
WASD Code
WASD Code: Minimalist tank that will survive the nuclear holocaust. Nai_Calus
Poker II
KBC Poker II: a confusing, but rock solid little keyboard. Daniel Beardsmore
KUL ES-87
Kul 87 -  One of the most hyped and over rated keyboards that carries a high price tag and still manages to ping a ding. the1onewolf
KUL ES-87 with MX Black: at first it was quiet; but within one day's use, it began doing the ping thing. aref
Noppo Choc Mini
The Noppoo Choc Mini w/ MX Browns adopts a commendable layout... but, it feels like dung and thanks to the hideous keycap printing, it looks like dung. Art of Payce
Ducky
Duckies don't float and they don't weigh the same as a witch.  derezzed
The Ducky Legend in Black w/ White LED and MX Reds is an office-ready ice-cold 1430-gram aluminous villain. Art of Payce
Ducky: Every year it lights up more than last year. metalliqaz
Matias
Matias: We make keyboards for Mac power-users, but nobody told us that they all use Powerbooks in coffee shops now. metalliqaz
VENDOR REPLY: metalliqaz: Nobody told him they don't call them Powerbooks anymore.

Custom Keyboards
Any Korean Keyboard: Will make your wallet commit suicide Rotaku
OTD/Duck boards:  Holy **** this is heavy. slickmamba
KMAC
KMAC: She screaming broke 'hackers that way, where the ballers at? CPTBadAss
KMAC: Buy it for life. metalliqaz
Duck
Duck: The rice racer of mechanical keyboards. metalliqaz
LZ
LZ: Good for photos, but did you want to actually work with it? metalliqaz

Topre Boards
Topre switches: Pianists may be left wondering why others compare this switch type to a piano key because they're not really that similar. Dee1
HHKB
hhkb, like banging two chicks at the same time. demik (unsurprisingly)
HHKB - like banging your crazy hot second cousin, there's something oh so wrong about it, but damn does it feel good. Nubbinator
Realforce
Realforce: How could such a wonderful, high-quality keyboard have such ugly legends? metalliqaz
Realforce 87U/55-gram KBs have excellent feel, solid build, quality key-switches with PBT key caps (except for the ABS spacebar), and they are the quietest stock KBs I've used.
Realforce: The best damn keyboards ever made. dustinhxc
Realforce 10AE 55g: If you don't want to mess with mods or keycaps, this is the best all-in-one keyboard package money can buy. Lastpilot
Leopold
Leopold: We make the best keyboards around, but Geekhackers won't buy it because spacebars. metalliqaz

Vintage Boards
Model M
Model M: More than ever, hour after hour, work is never over metalliqaz
IBM Model M: common keyboard for an uncommon price. chyros
IBM Model M: Your grandchildren will still be able to use it with a chain of adapters AT -> PS/2 -> USB -> USB Type C -> Ultra Fiber Optical link keyhopper
Kishsaver
IBM 6019284 "Kishsaver": Type domestic seven days of the week. CPTBadAss
Kingsaver (Blue Alps)
Kingsaver with Blue Alps: Clack clack clack, Too turnt up, I can't turn down. CPTBadAss
NMB RT101 (Space Invaders)
NMB RT101 with Space Invaders:  'GH Y U NO TELL ME ABOUT THESE SOONER' Altis
Chicony KB-5981
Chicony KB-5981: **** case, great switches. chyros
Acer 6312-TW
Acer 6312-TW: like typing on staplers. chyros
Dell AT101
Dell AT101: better than the original at only 8 times the price. chyros
Dell AT101W
Dell AT101W: what everyone should start off on. chyros
Apple Extended Keyboard II
AEKII: for if normal things piss you off. chyros

Build-It-Yourself Boards
JD40
JD40: Super-compact, but still bigger than my penis. absyrd
Ergodox
The Ergodox is the gateway to a new world without pain or suffering.. tp4tissue

SWITCHES

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Cherry
MX Blue
Cherry MX Blues - only slightly less annoying than Fran Drescher in The Nanny. Nubbinator
MX Blues: *CLACK*. Nai_Calus
Cheery Cherry MX Blue for when you are Blue. Huxley2500
MX Red
Cherry MX reds: Feels like a super model is sucking your finger on every keystroke. Merranza
MX Clears
MX Clears: *bump* *sudden heaviness* Nai_Calus

Gateron
Gateron Clears: Why does it feel like nothing? Nai_Calus

KEYSETS

More

GMK
Buying GMK caps is like cheating on a diet, you tell yourself you'll stop at one, but you know that it's a dirty lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better. Nubbinator
Elite Keyboards
104-key Universal Keycap Set for Cherry MX (Red/Blank)
These red, blank, thin ABS key caps with a spacebar that pings like a en bloc might not match the color of your hammer and sickle key caps but that won't stop you from talking in a bad Russian accent. Asininity

ARTISAN CAPS

More

Bro Caps
Bro Caps, more addictive than heroin but slightly nicer to your bank account. nubbinator
Click Clacks
Clacks, the only caps someone has literally offered to suck a **** for. nubbinator

[Daniel Beardsmore]

KBC Poker II: a confusing, but rock solid little keyboard.

[Novus]

Kul 87 -  One of the most hyped and over rated keyboards that carries a high price tag and still manages to ping a ding.

[Rotaku]

Any Korean Keyboard: Will make your wallet commit suicide

[nubbinator]

Buying GMK caps is like cheating on a diet, you tell yourself you'll stop at one, but you know that it's a dirty lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better.

Cherry MX Blues - only slightly less annoying than Fran Drescher in The Nanny.

[tp4tissue]

The Ergodox is the gateway to a new world without pain or suffering..

[Art of Payce]

The Noppoo Choc Mini w/ MX Browns adopts a commendable layout... but, it feels like dung and thanks to the hideous keycap printing, it looks like dung.

The Ducky Legend in Black w/ White LED and MX Reds is an office-ready ice-cold 1430-gram aluminous villain.

[demik]

hhkb, like banging two chicks at the same time.

[CPTBadAss]

IBM 6019284 "Kishsaver": Type domestic seven days of the week.

[Altis]

NMB RT101 with Space Invaders:  'GH Y U NO TELL ME ABOUT THESE SOONER'

[nubbinator]

hhkb, like banging two chicks at the same time.

I was going to say this:

HHKB - like banging your crazy hot second cousin, there's something oh so wrong about it, but damn does it feel good.

[slickmamba]

OTD/Duck boards:  Holy **** this is heavy.

[CPTBadAss]

Kingsaver with Blue Alps: Clack clack clack, Too turnt up, I can't turn down.

[demik]

hhkb, like banging two chicks at the same time.

I was going to say this:

HHKB - like banging your crazy hot second cousin, there's something oh so wrong about it, but damn does it feel good.

huh.

i, too, was going to go with something to do with incest.

wtf hhkb.

[derezzed]

hhkb, like banging two chicks at the same time.

HHKB - like banging your crazy hot second cousin, there's something oh so wrong about it, but damn does it feel good.

Not having an HHKB -- like listening to someone else constantly bragging about that hot chick they banged.  And wondering what it was like.

hmm, maybe if I hid the closet...

[demik]

hhkb, like banging two chicks at the same time.

HHKB - like banging your crazy hot second cousin, there's something oh so wrong about it, but damn does it feel good.

Not having an HHKB -- like listening to someone else constantly bragging about that hot chick they banged.  And wondering what it was like.

hmm, maybe if I hid the closet...

we welcome voyeurs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[derezzed]

Duckies don't float and they don't weigh the same as a witch.

[CPTBadAss]

KMAC: She screaming broke 'hackers that way, where the ballers at?

[Dihedral]

Updated OP! Loving these, keep them coming.

[metalliqaz]

Realforce: How could such a wonderful, high-quality keyboard have such ugly legends?
Ducky: Every year it lights up more than last year.
Leopold: We make the best keyboards around, but Geekhackers won't buy it because spacebars.
Model M: More than ever, hour after hour, work is never over.
KMAC: Buy it for life.
Duck: The rice racer of mechanical keyboards.
LZ: Good for photos, but did you want to actually work with it?
Matias: We make keyboards for Mac power-users, but nobody told us that they all use Powerbooks in coffee shops now.

[metalliqaz]

Updated OP! Loving these, keep them coming.

Way too many more/less blocks in OP.  There's no pictures, not needed.  Just makes it harder to read.

[Dihedral]

Updated OP! Loving these, keep them coming.

Way too many more/less blocks in OP.  There's no pictures, not needed.  Just makes it harder to read.

Feedback taken

[Nai_Calus]

WASD Code: Minimalist tank that will survive the nuclear holocaust.

Monoprice 9433: Non-standard cheap decentness.

Gateron Clears: Why does it feel like nothing?

MX Clears: *bump* *sudden heaviness*

MX Blues: *CLACK*.

[aref]

Keyboards that ping and ping...
.  CMQFR with MX/Red/Brown/Blue/ and Green had the dreaded ping.
.  Filco M2 with MX/Red/Brown/Blue/ and Black, ditto.
.  KUL ES-87 with MX Black: at first it was quiet; but within one day's use, it began doing the ping thing.

My non-pinging keyboards
.  Corsair K65/MX Red I've had for almost a year, no ping; and good build except for cheap ABS key caps; and some odd size key caps.
.  My number 1 keyboards: two Realforce 87U/55-gram KBs have excellent feel, solid build, quality key-switches with PBT key caps (except for the ABS spacebar), and they are the quietest stock KBs I've used.

[dustinhxc]

Realforce: The best damn keyboards ever made.

[aref]

Realforce: The best damn keyboards ever made.

Talk to me! The best I've used/owned; granted, there are many I haven't used; but with Topres at my tips, there may be no need.

I forgot to mention, the three SSKs I had also pinged; but I was willing to forgive the venerated SSK, at least until I tried a Realforce and 'Real'ized that there are TKLs that feel unlike any other and don't ping.

[Huxley2500]

Cheery Cherry MX Blue for when you are Blue.

[chyros]

Chicony KB-5981: **** case, great switches.
Acer 6312-TW: like typing on staplers.
Dell AT101W: what everyone should start off on.
Dell AT101: better than the original at only 8 times the price.
IBM Model M: common keyboard for an uncommon price.
SG-2000: nothing but total ****ing awfulness.
Any Cherry MX board: no comment .
AEKII: for if normal things piss you off.

 

[nubbinator]

One that seems to be true for too many since not everyone can do things in moderation:

• Bro Caps, more addictive than heroin but slightly nicer to your bank account.

And along the same lines:

• Clacks, the only caps someone has literally offered to suck a **** for.

[Merranza]

Cherry MX reds: Feels like a super model is sucking your finger on every keystroke.

[hwood34]

Cherry MX reds: Feels like a super model is sucking your finger on every keystroke.

[Novus]

Cherry MX reds: Feels like a super model is sucking your finger on every keystroke.

Show Image

please don't condone this behavior

[Asininity]

104-key Universal Keycap Set for Cherry MX (Red/Blank) - These red, blank, thin ABS key caps with a spacebar that pings like a en bloc might not match the color of your hammer and sickle key caps but that won't stop you from talking in a bad Russian accent.

[GL1TCH3D]

Razer Blackwidow Ultimate: If you need something that sucks as bad as you in video games, this is for you.

[Bucake]

KBT Pure Pro: Strange, but lovely.

[absyrd]

JD40: Super-compact, but still bigger than my penis.

[davkol]

Ladies and gentlemen, let me bring back the legendary Julle's impression of Topre Realforce:

The 45 g is just right for me, but the 55 g feels like fingering a shark's anus - it's tight and I might end up getting hurt.

sauce

[Lastpilot]

Realforce 10AE 55g: If you don't want to mess with mods or keycaps, this is the best all-in-one keyboard package money can buy.

[keyhopper]

Razer Blackwidow Tournament Edition:  Don't use it for typing.

IBM Model M: Your grandchildren will still be able to use it with a chain of adapters AT -> PS/2 -> USB -> USB Type C -> Ultra Fiber Optical link

[Merranza]

Razer Blackwidow Ultimate: If you need something that sucks as bad as you in video games, this is for you.

I like this one lol

[Dee1]

Topre switches: Pianists may be left wondering why others compare this switch type to a piano key because they're not really that similar.

[nubbinator]

Topre switches: Pianists may be left wondering why others compare this switch type to a piano key because they're not really that similar.

I have never heard that comparison made by anyone.

[jacobolus]

I have never heard that comparison [that Topre switches are like piano keys] made by anyone.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Maybe I can put words on the "Topre feel":

For those of you who have once used a real piano (one made of wood) or a high quality electronic musical keyboard, there is a similarity in my opinion with the Topre switches.

In a real piano, the key is at the end of a lever, and the lever pushes a hammer, which strikes a string or group of strings.

The device has some inertia. When you start pushing the key, you push the key+lever+hammer group. You feel the weight of all these parts. Once the group is set in motion, the pressure on your finger is much lower as the parts continue on their way until they strike the string(s), at which point the hammer bounces back and sends the pressure back on the key. This helps quickly reset the mechanism in its initial position, ready to play another note.

The pressure curve on a piano key is in my opinion somehow similar to the one of a Topre switch.

This is by far the best description of the "topre feel" that I've come across. I say this as someone who's played the piano my whole life. 

The initial resistance, followed by the smooth travel really does closely mimic the feel of a piano key. It may be why I've come to strongly prefer topres.

In addition, the fact that the key actuates before bottoming out is also similar to a piano's action. The hammer is actually released at the strings well before the key is fully depressed. This is part of the mechanism that allows you to use a softer touch on the keys to achieve a dynamic range (different loudness) when you play.

And for those who say you always bottom out on topres, I actually find that not to be the case. True, when I'm typing English at speed, I generally do bottom out. But, when I'm typing key commands or chords, or doing fast repetition of a single key, I'll often use a lighter touch and not bottom out. I do this without thinking about it, and only notice if I pay attention to it.

I thought the same exact thing. Feels like a weighted piano key.

[...] And I would compare the feeling of Topre to piano keys.  The way it has a firm initial pressing with a soft landing reminds me a lot of my piano. [...]

The best comparison of Topre vs MX switch I can think of is:
Topre = weighted piano key
MX = non-weighted keyboard key

[...] To me, Topre switches have a pleasant tactile feedback, somewhat like tripping a weighted piano key on a real piano, whereas mx browns feel like mx reds with a piece of grit on the switch stem. [...]

i didn't understand all of these comparisons, up until last week, when i bought a FC660C. i was lost, but now i'm found. the above is probably the best topre vs mx description

[...] But I feel more like Topre feel different rather than heavier or lighter. The difference is mostly that the tactile bump is in the beginning, and then kind of disappears as the key is easy to press the rest of the way. I think this is why they are often compared to piano keys (in addition to the landing when bottoming out), which have a similar kind of resistance in the beginning that kind of falls away as you press it. This heavier resistance near the top makes it feel as though Topre require a little bit more force. [...]

[...] I have tried to analyze why I like buckling springs and Topres so much. I think it has to do with the force curve of these switches. The way I type is to bottom out on every keyststroke. With buckling springs and Topres, there is a definite yet smooth tactile bump at the actuation point and a natural follow-through to the bottom without increased resistance. This is especially well executed with the Topre switches, which to me feel like weighted piano keys on a real piano keyboard. [...]

About the only way I can describe typing on a Realforce is to compare it running your finger through some keys on a high end piano.  You don't really bottom out the key, the action comes up and meets you half way. [...]

[...] I 'got it' as soon as I pressed a key, and moving between Cherrys and Topre, the Topre is my favourite feeling switch. It's not better though. My cherry Blue is still just as interesting to use, but the Topre feels more 'classic'. Someone has described the sensation as being akin to a piano key, and that's the analogy I'd use. There's a feeling of a mechanical pendulum action with the Topre.  [...]

I'm just here to say that I think the analogy of Topre keys feeling a bit like piano keys is the best way I've ever heard it described.  That's exactly how they feel to me too.

Same here, and I actually play piano (as some of you who made the comment probably do too). [...]

[...] Having compared many different types of keyboard switches in addition to Topre, including Alps of various kinds, Cherry mx of various kinds, membrane buckling springs, capacitive buckling springs, beam springs, Hi-Tek space invaders (tactile and clicky), Matias tactile clicky, Honeywell Hall effect, various linear switches in terminal keyboards, and rubber dome keyboards packaged with modern PCs, I find that the aural and tactile feedback of Topre switches is distinctive. To me, the tactile feedback from a Topre switch might be likened to that of a weighted piano key on a "real" piano (as opposed to an electronic piano keyboard). [...]

[...] Someone mentioned that the Topre 55g reminds them of pressing a piano key and I would have to agree.  They are very smooth and quiet. [...]

Topre switches are tactile with a feel somewhat like that of tripping a weighted piano key on a real piano. Actuation force is palpable and occurs at about 45 or 55 cN, depending on the switch.

Found a nice way of describing the type-s's feel, it feels like a fancy Roland electric keyboard feels when you push down the keys except it obviously has a bump. Interested to see if other type-s users agree?

Yea I know what you mean, I have yet to really sit there and use it but the Topre switches kind of feel like a lighter and more enjoyable piano keys. I mean the 55g Feels kind of like piano keys with a a pronounced tactile feeling then you would feel on the pian, and I do not know if one would agree with me but I have played music and believe for me this is an accurate description. [...]

[...] Well after using the Ergo Clears for a good bit I switched back to the TH and I was shocked at how strange it felt.  Somebody posted here a while back that Topre feels a lot like a piano and I have to say that is pretty spot on for me.  There is a very damped, slowed down feeling when key pressing.  I feel like I need to be much more deliberate when using Topre. [...]

HHKB Pro 2. I like the sound and tactile feel of Topre switches. They are like weighted piano keys on a real piano. [...]

Piano Key weight, good reference! I am typing with my HHKB and it forsure feels like that, wow!

[...] That said, yes, I do agree that Realforce boards will feel a bit "slow" at first. The way to type on a Realforce board is a completely different paradigm vs. Cherry MX switch based boards. It's more like hitting piano keys, rather than typing on type writers. So instead of actually sliding down a key, you're actually hitting it. Like a piano.  [...]

1. Topre - butter smooth, feels like miniature piano keys with crisp tactility. [...]

I haven't made any conclusive decisions yet, but I think I prefer Topre. I think I prefer Topre because it has more of an "all-or-nothing" aspect to its switch action. It's more like hitting a piano key, whereas with the Cherry MX switches it's like hitting springy switches. [...]

I've been hacking on a Realforce for about 4 days now after a year with mx-blues.

It feels like a digital piano keyboard in a really good way. The bottoming out sensation is very similar, it just has half the travel distance of the piano. [...]

Yea... Topre switches are super smooth, and super stable. As someone else in the board has mentioned before, the action is very similar to that of hitting piano keys. It just feels like you're pressing an actual key, not a keycap on top of a mechanical switch... if that makes any sense.

That's actually a great way to describe it.  Everything feels like a single unit to me all the way to the bottom.

[...] On the other hand, the RealForce silent feels like when you watch someone put their fingers to a piano keyboard.  The keystrokes are like butter.

Interesting. My HiPro (arrived this week) has 'LEO-Realforce' on the bottom sticker. [...] It's my first Topre too, and while I'm holding back on any final opinion, my early impressions are extremely positive. Rubber dome, yes, but unlike any key switch I've tried: Weirdly more mechanical than my Cherries. The best comparison I've seen is that of a piano key. There is a distinctly 'counter-weighted' nature to the switch action. Very pleasant. [...]

et cetera

[Matias]

Matias: We make keyboards for Mac power-users, but nobody told us that they all use Powerbooks in coffee shops now.

That explains a lot.     


I assume it's okay to review people too...

         metalliqaz: Nobody told him they don't call them Powerbooks anymore.


And here's one for that mechanical switch wannabe...

         Topre are the switch equivalent of that fake camera shutter noise your smartphone makes, when you take a photo (both attempts at "simulating" the feedback of the authentic thing they aspire to).

[Daniel Beardsmore]

jacobolus must be bored, and Matias may be confused. Topre switches go back to 1981 (prototype) and were introduced in 1983. As such, I don't think it classifies as "fake". There wasn't much to emulate back then, mostly IBM, and the idea that Topre is "fake IBM" isn't one I'm familiar with. (Of course, considering IBM Japan's use of linear switches from Alps instead of their own buckling spring technology …)

[Dihedral]

Matias: We make keyboards for Mac power-users, but nobody told us that they all use Powerbooks in coffee shops now.

That explains a lot.     


I assume it's okay to review people too...

         metalliqaz: Nobody told him they don't call them Powerbooks anymore.


And here's one for that mechanical switch wannabe...

         Topre are the switch equivalent of that fake camera shutter noise your smartphone makes, when you take a photo (both attempts at "simulating" the feedback of the authentic thing they aspire to).

I don't think it's fair to put a review by a commercial entity in the OP, but got a laugh out of the first one

[Dihedral]

OP Updated... I need to get a life

[metalliqaz]

If you're gonna roast me, you've got to do it right:

Epsilon: Literally garbage.  (designed to use salvaged parts)

[HoffmanMyster]

Realforce 10AE 55g: If you don't want to mess with mods or keycaps, this is the best all-in-one keyboard package money can buy.

+1

Probably the best and most complete out of the box experience I've had with a keyboard.

[snipars]

HHKB: I don't know why or how i bought this, but i'm very glad i did