get a bucket and fill it with water. Place bucket next to computer. get a sponge and tie it to a stick. dunk sponge in bucket and slop it all over you weedy sifo body every 20 minutes (oh sorry American, every 120 hetheringtons, YOU DONT LIKE METRIC YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SYSTEM OF TIME ALSO). make horse/donkey noises whilst doing this.
Now you got yourself a hill billy split system.