Viva's Dating Advice Thread

[HoffmanMyster]

However,  if Bee, turns out to be a deadly assassin,  or if Hoff can absorb stainless steel..

Yes...

if...

[beehatch]

And then I have to take it too?  Sounds lame.

Why do you assume, No tongue..

Like, duh. I'd certainly be using that.

[demik]

also can i use the crossbow? last time i tried nun chucks i hit myself in the balls

I took out my ninja stars from my zombie kit, because I read that they're not effective aganist the undead..

But if we're facing -HoffBee-  ,  The ninja stars might work..

However,  if Bee, turns out to be a deadly assassin,  or if Hoff can absorb stainless steel..

We're still pretty screwed.

it was fun while it lasted.

rip tp and demik

[beehatch]

also can i use the crossbow? last time i tried nun chucks i hit myself in the balls

I took out my ninja stars from my zombie kit, because I read that they're not effective aganist the undead..

But if we're facing -HoffBee-  ,  The ninja stars might work..

However,  if Bee, turns out to be a deadly assassin,  or if Hoff can absorb stainless steel..

We're still pretty screwed.

it was fun while it lasted.

rip tp and demik

[tp4tissue]

it was fun while it lasted.

rip tp and demik

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Hackers 1995

Bluray's coming out August 18th..

We should see the Arrrgh-edition mid-June..

[beehatch]

it was fun while it lasted.

rip tp and demik

Show Image

Hackers 1995

Bluray's coming out August 18th..

We should see the Arrrgh-edition mid-June..

Good call. Totes getting that bluray

[Halverson]

The **** happened here while I was out

[beehatch]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

[Halverson]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

Plot twist, we all are actually Halverson.

[beehatch]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

Plot twist, we all are actually Halverson.

boring

[demik]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

Plot twist, we all are actually Halverson.

so you're telling me im a taco supreme??

YES. FINALLY.

[Halverson]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

Plot twist, we all are actually Halverson.

so you're telling me im a taco supreme??

YES. FINALLY.

That's the spirit! Tacoooo

[beehatch]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

Plot twist, we all are actually Halverson.

so you're telling me im a taco supreme??

YES. FINALLY.

This means we will devour you more quickly.

[demik]

oh, i forgot white people love sour cream.

well, that back fired.

[Halverson]

oh, i forgot white people love sour cream.

well, that back fired.

The ****, you don't?

[demik]

why would i put sour cream when guacamole is a thing?

[Halverson]

Both, and salsa and more stuff, ****in plebe

[tp4tissue]

why would i put sour cream when guacamole is a thing?

Tp loves Guacamole..

[tp4tissue]

Both, and salsa and more stuff, ****in plebe

They used to sell this giant dips-bowl @ costco..

It's got like 7 different cheeses, different beans etc..

[demik]

why would i put sour cream when guacamole is a thing?

Tp loves Guacamole..

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never thought we'd get this close tp.

Both, and salsa and more stuff, ****in plebe

negative ghostrider, true mexicans dont eat sour cream. i am a true mexican.

[beehatch]

i do not like sour cream

i have never tried guac

don't h8 me

[demik]

1) forgiven

2) uh, wat? find yourself some mexicans. or some adventurous white people and get you some god damn guac.

[beehatch]

1) forgiven

2) uh, wat? find yourself some mexicans. or some adventurous white people and get you some god damn guac.

I always forget about guac when I go out. I probably will break down and just make it myself lol

[demik]

home made is the best.

but if you go out and get it.. this is the proper way to respond to "guac is extra"

[tp4tissue]

home made is the best.

but if you go out and get it.. this is the proper way to respond to "guac is extra"

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Chipotle Guac is pretty decent.

What you want to do is use feminine wiles to seduce the waiter into giving you more Guac...

[beehatch]

home made is the best.

but if you go out and get it.. this is the proper way to respond to "guac is extra"

Show Image

Chipotle Guac is pretty decent.

What you want to do is use feminine wiles to seduce the waiter into giving you more Guac...

low-cut tops were created for a reason

[demik]

RIP chipotle guy. You'll soon be inside houffman. Beehouff strikes again.

[Air tree]

Relevant to Beehatch

[trizkut]

Relevant to Beehatch

And then I have to take it too?  Sounds lame.

You linked the exact same video as me.

[Air tree]

Relevant to Beehatch

And then I have to take it too?  Sounds lame.

You linked the exact same video as me.

Show Image

Show Image

Show Image

Damn you. I thought I was being all original.  :'(

[paicrai]

ive posted like 2 times in the dating advice thread why hasnt anyone had sex with me im suing viva

[absyrd]

The **** happened here while I was out

Hoffman + Beehatch = HoffBee

Hoff absorbs the people I murder. I murder by Poison Ivy type kissing seduction ****.

We plan on killing Tp and Demik.

I'm deciding on the plot twist.

I fell asleep at 7:30 like a senior citizen and missed this. Thank goodness for recap.

And I dare not eat any "mexican" unless I'm sure it doesn't have cilantro. That **** smells and tastes like stink-bugs.

Also, sour cream is only good as a contrasting temperature; if you have some nice cold guac on a hot hot burrito, no need for sour cream.

[CPTBadAss]

In this thread I learned vagina magic is properly used in the pursuit of guacamole. And demik has finally learned that wu tang (nunchucks) are in fact, nothing to **** with.

[HoffmanMyster]

why would i put sour cream when guacamole is a thing?

Tp loves Guacamole..

Show Image

We've found their weakness.

[Halverson]

i do not like sour cream

i have never tried guac

don't h8 me

10/10 there will be other problems after hearing that. Goodbye, goodbye forever.

[vivalarevolución]

I go to sleep and this happens.  Wtf.

ive posted like 2 times in the dating advice thread why hasnt anyone had sex with me im suing viva

See disclaimer in the OP.

[vivalarevolución]

Real life dating tip:  attempting to be a clever troll on dating websites is not a very successful strategy.

[tp4tissue]

Real life dating tip:  attempting to be a clever troll on dating websites is not a very successful strategy.

So what you're saying is,  if you're on the internet alot,  just give up dating.. it's not going to happen for you..

m0re internet..


I've accepted this years ago.

[ander]

Please, this is a thread of sophistication and culture. We shall not resort to the lowest level of potty humor.

Feel free to resort to the other ones, though.

[vivalarevolución]

Please, this is a thread of sophistication and culture. We shall not resort to the lowest level of potty humor.

Feel free to resort to the other ones, though.

Whatever gets a laugh works for me.

Real life dating tip:  attempting to be a clever troll on dating websites is not a very successful strategy.

So what you're saying is,  if you're on the internet alot,  just give up dating.. it's not going to happen for you..

m0re internet..


I've accepted this years ago.

I recommend LastPilot's advice shared earlier in this thread.  Show off the rig, observe reaction, consider compatibility.

[demik]

Op, will I ever find the beehatch to my houffman and go on murderous sprees myself?

[Seranite]

Op, will I ever find the beehatch to my houffman and go on murderous sprees myself?

[demik]

HEY YOURE NOT OP

[tp4tissue]

User, -Beehatch-  has graciously shared a single member's name from the Approved Bang-able list who is "NOT" a pretty boy.


Tp4 has analyzed this character (Dansgaming)

-Beehatch- has confirmed the analysis is mostly accurate.

Many thanks to -B- for giving us Geeks some direction..







Analysis of -Dan- (Dansgaming) from Twitch-stream




Disarming Round shape:

___ Circle based characters are socially perceived to be amicable.
___ They exude harmlessness..
___ Improves odds of successful "initial contacts"
               ---- including easy introduction to friends ----

The Beard:

___ Symbol of a male having entered adulthood
___ Classically sported and unshaven in older, more responsible males

Deep calm voice:

___ Indicative of hormone level
___ Suggests adequate Virility

Dad-Bod:

___ Low potential physical disparity between Relationship-occupants
               ----viewer/streamer----boy/girl----dom/sub

___ Easily maintainable as a companion with minimal exercise
               ---- This guy will never break up with you, so you don't need to work out----

___ His stress management routine is food, inexpensive and nearly endless in the 1st-world.
               ---- Thus, easy to please.. ----

So, in car speak, he's like a mid-size Japanese sedan..

-- Reliability first
-- Nothing fancy
-- Low maintenance.

[paicrai]

User, -Beehatch-  has graciously shared a single member's name from the Approved Bang-able list who is "NOT" a pretty boy.


Tp4 has analyzed this character (Dansgaming)

-Beehatch- has confirmed the analysis is mostly accurate.

Many thanks to -B- for giving us Geeks some direction..







Analysis of -Dan- (Dansgaming) from Twitch-stream


(Attachment Link)

Disarming Round shape:

___ Circle based characters are socially perceived to be amicable.
___ They exude harmlessness..
___ Improves odds of successful "initial contacts"
               ---- including easy introduction to friends ----

The Beard:

___ Symbol of a male having entered adulthood
___ Classically sported and unshaven in older, more responsible males

Deep calm voice:

___ Indicative of hormone level
___ Suggests adequate Virility

Dad-Bod:

___ Low potential physical disparity between Relationship-occupants
               ----viewer/streamer----boy/girl----dom/sub

___ Easily maintainable as a companion with minimal exercise
               ---- This guy will never break up with you, so you don't need to work out----

___ His stress management routine is food, inexpensive and nearly endless in the 1st-world.
               ---- Thus, easy to please.. ----

So, in car speak, he's like a mid-size Japanese sedan..

-- Reliability first
-- Nothing fancy
-- Low maintenance.

what the **** even is this

[beehatch]

User, -Beehatch-  has graciously shared a single member's name from the Approved Bang-able list who is "NOT" a pretty boy.


Tp4 has analyzed this character (Dansgaming)

-Beehatch- has confirmed the analysis is mostly accurate.

Many thanks to -B- for giving us Geeks some direction..







Analysis of -Dan- (Dansgaming) from Twitch-stream


(Attachment Link)

Disarming Round shape:

___ Circle based characters are socially perceived to be amicable.
___ They exude harmlessness..
___ Improves odds of successful "initial contacts"
               ---- including easy introduction to friends ----

The Beard:

___ Symbol of a male having entered adulthood
___ Classically sported and unshaven in older, more responsible males

Deep calm voice:

___ Indicative of hormone level
___ Suggests adequate Virility

Dad-Bod:

___ Low potential physical disparity between Relationship-occupants
               ----viewer/streamer----boy/girl----dom/sub

___ Easily maintainable as a companion with minimal exercise
               ---- This guy will never break up with you, so you don't need to work out----

___ His stress management routine is food, inexpensive and nearly endless in the 1st-world.
               ---- Thus, easy to please.. ----

So, in car speak, he's like a mid-size Japanese sedan..

-- Reliability first
-- Nothing fancy
-- Low maintenance.

I just ****ing died lol

 ) ) ) ) )

[trizkut]

User, -Beehatch-  has graciously shared a single member's name from the Approved Bang-able list who is "NOT" a pretty boy.


Tp4 has analyzed this character (Dansgaming)

-Beehatch- has confirmed the analysis is mostly accurate.

Many thanks to -B- for giving us Geeks some direction..







Analysis of -Dan- (Dansgaming) from Twitch-stream


(Attachment Link)

Disarming Round shape:

___ Circle based characters are socially perceived to be amicable.
___ They exude harmlessness..
___ Improves odds of successful "initial contacts"
               ---- including easy introduction to friends ----

The Beard:

___ Symbol of a male having entered adulthood
___ Classically sported and unshaven in older, more responsible males

Deep calm voice:

___ Indicative of hormone level
___ Suggests adequate Virility

Dad-Bod:

___ Low potential physical disparity between Relationship-occupants
               ----viewer/streamer----boy/girl----dom/sub

___ Easily maintainable as a companion with minimal exercise
               ---- This guy will never break up with you, so you don't need to work out----

___ His stress management routine is food, inexpensive and nearly endless in the 1st-world.
               ---- Thus, easy to please.. ----

So, in car speak, he's like a mid-size Japanese sedan..

-- Reliability first
-- Nothing fancy
-- Low maintenance.

DansGame DansGame DansGame DansGame DansGame

[demik]

User, -Beehatch-  has graciously shared a single member's name from the Approved Bang-able list who is "NOT" a pretty boy.


Tp4 has analyzed this character (Dansgaming)

-Beehatch- has confirmed the analysis is mostly accurate.

Many thanks to -B- for giving us Geeks some direction..







Analysis of -Dan- (Dansgaming) from Twitch-stream


(Attachment Link)

Disarming Round shape:

___ Circle based characters are socially perceived to be amicable.
___ They exude harmlessness..
___ Improves odds of successful "initial contacts"
               ---- including easy introduction to friends ----

The Beard:

___ Symbol of a male having entered adulthood
___ Classically sported and unshaven in older, more responsible males

Deep calm voice:

___ Indicative of hormone level
___ Suggests adequate Virility

Dad-Bod:

___ Low potential physical disparity between Relationship-occupants
               ----viewer/streamer----boy/girl----dom/sub

___ Easily maintainable as a companion with minimal exercise
               ---- This guy will never break up with you, so you don't need to work out----

___ His stress management routine is food, inexpensive and nearly endless in the 1st-world.
               ---- Thus, easy to please.. ----

So, in car speak, he's like a mid-size Japanese sedan..

-- Reliability first
-- Nothing fancy
-- Low maintenance.

Me next me next!

Wait no

[tp4tissue]

Me next me next!

Wait no

Yea I could analyze you..  sure..

Send me some videos of you..  It doesn't matter if it's scripted etc,  I can see through the veil.

[paicrai]

Me next me next!

Wait no

Yea I could anal you.. s u r e..